The Barefoot Contessa’s enchanted life

INA GARTEN is the Barefoot Contessa. She has enjoyed heroine status in my life, but because I am getting ready for the retirement home of the mind, she now only has free access to the sports of my skull. 

I will remain forever grateful to her for her Lemon Capellini recipe. And a dozen others. But ...

Garten's memoir, Be Ready When the Luck Happens, lifted me out of a bad slump after the death of a close friend. The soothing voice of the famous TV personality is captured in every sentence of the book. Therein lies the wake-up call. Ina Garten's life is lived at an advanced level of improbability even within the context of international celebs. Let me just say a life like hers is beyond the reach of mere mortals.

Be Ready When the Luck Happens gives you the info can read about her in Wikipedia, with all the context added. I didn't feel bored for a moment. But ...

Grandparents were Russian Jews

Ina Rosenberg's grandparents were Russian Jews. Her father was a surgeon specialising in neck and skull surgery; her mother was a dietician. She met Jeffrey Garten when she was 15 and they got got married when he was 22 and she was 20. Jeffrey worked for the Nixon, Ford, and Carter administrations in the White House, and later served under Clinton as well. Ina also began her career in the White House, as a budget researcher.

Then she got bored with it and bought the Barefoot Contessa store in Westhampton Beach, New York. Jeffrey suddenly had to commute on weekends if he wanted to see his wife. But she didn't really have time to pay attention to him either. Divorce was imminent. She wanted out and their paths diverged. Ina couldn't cope, Jeffrey took her in his arms and asked her what he could do to get her to change her mind about the divorce.

“Go see a therapist," Ina replied as she shed tears on Jeffrey's shoulders.

Which he did the very next day. QED in the style of Ina Garten. The man who would become Dean Emeritus of the Yale Business School, who is a reputed expert on international economic affairs, who in his day made big money at Blackstone and Lehman Brothers, the man who did the hard work on international economic relations in the inner chambers during the Clinton administration, bowed in his early thirties before the manipulations of the world's greatest chauvinist.

Jeffrey gained the insight that he and Ina were equals. Their marriage has been steady to this day.

Strong in the spectrum of chauvinism

I am at peace with the fact that Ina was instrumental in ensuring that Jeffrey would not become or remain a male chauvinist. In her TV shows, we meet him. Gentle. Knows his place.

It is Ina herself who one sees unexpectedly clearly. Over the years, I've assumed that there had to be a superior ego driving her. I thought it was simply not as common as Jeremy Clarkson and Gordon Ramsey to make ordinariness her public image. Now I know better. She's far advanced on the spectrum of chauvinism. 

Ina Rosenberg must have realised somewhere along the way that she would have to create her public image and keep it polished. Early on, though, there's a moment that gives us a behind-the-scenes look. She recounts how, in the early days of the Barefoot Contessa, she had to cater for a large party in Westhampton.

When she went to clean up the next day (her food was almost untouched) she realised that the host was a famous drug dealer, and the people weren't interested in food. In addition, the host said he wanted to give her a very special tip and did she mind going to his bedroom with him? Ina was curious. She went along, thinking he was using the word “blow" incorrectly. Turns out the man was going to let her do a bunch of free cocaine lines. 

Said Ina: “Hmm. I remember going back to the store to slice some smoked salmon that morning – and I sliced it really fast!”

I'm not really into that class of drugs, but I know that someone who picks up that much speed can't be a rookie. She doesn't lift that veil in the book again. 

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But one becomes mindful of all the clues. Big money creates its own opportunities. When Jeffrey moves to New York to work at Lehman, they sell their home in Washington, moving with only two suitcases full of clothes. All their earthly possessions end up on the pavement. “We were looking for a fresh start in New York, and this felt so cleansing." 

Nothing to beat a refreshing change.

By the time I reached the last page, my secret infatuation had returned. There are so many enticing anecdotes and core recipes. She is very fond of saying that you should always keep the door open, because you never know when luck will descend on you.

What really directs her life

But towards the end of her memoir, it becomes clear what is going on in the Ina soul. Her life is a response to her father's derogatory remarks that she would never make a success of her life. The conversation with her father, and the constant knowledge that she is proving him wrong, every new day, is what directs Ina Garten's life.

Shortly after marrying Jeffrey, he tells her about his big dream – that they will live together in Paris one day. I consulted Kelly Sullivan Walden's I Had the Strangest Dream: “Dreams of Paris symbolise romance, passion, fashion, decadence, love and adventure."

It probably depends on the dreamer.

Be Ready When the Luck Happens by Ina Garten is published by Crown Publishing Group and costs R629 at Loot.

♦ VWB ♦

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