Cape of hope for good brothels

In her book she does not pronounce judgement; she describes a decadent slice of Cape history. Nor does she deal lightly with the exploitation of the original inhabitants, on the contrary, she creates an atmosphere in which capers coexist in nice juxtaposition with a type of unscrupulousness.

It reminds one of the film White Mischief in which the white inhabitants in the beautiful Happy Valley in Kenya lead wild lives of sex, drinking, drugs and adultery - without a hint of consideration for the natives.

***

What kind of people landed here? McKinnon's sources for the book include Karel Schoeman. He writes that people looking for their ancestors in Europe should not go snooping in the gilded corridors of Blenheim Palace or mirror-clad corridors of Versailles.

No, go looking in the dirty back streets of Europe. Indeed, some of the earliest immigrants at the Cape were rough, rude and ready to punch. Many men carried knives and used them liberally.

Women did not stand aside either and regularly wacked their opponents, scratching and pulling their hair. The book describes how men who had been at sea for nine months landed in the Cape and made a beeline for one of the many flourishing brothels. Probably just human too.

As for bacchanalia, Jan van Riebeeck did not dawdle. He had grapes planted on his farm and started producing wine. On February 2, 1659, he writes in his journal how he tasted the first wine made in the Cape.

“It was delicious and sweet," was his judgement. He also had the first beer brewed. Later he would complain that when there was a fleet of ships in the bay, the local community and the sailors got plastered.

There was swearing, fighting and everyone was too hungover to work. The whole place came to a standstill with the smell of cheap booze and vomit everywhere (still happening in Long Street).

Alcoholism was a problem. In 1677 Jan van Eeden took his wife back to the Netherlands in hopes that she could be cured of her drinking. He came back to the Cape and arranged a place for her on another boat, later.

Big mistake – she started an affair with the rations officer and fell pregnant. Van Eeden divorced her and she was banished to a home for unwed mothers in Batavia on the other side of the Indian Ocean.

Maria Visser was married to Willem and also got into trouble when she started living with her foreman. For this she was summarily sent off to Mauritius. Usually little happened to the men if they entered into extramarital affairs, but the poor women had to suffer.

***

The social media of the time, gossip and scandal, were the order of the day and “news" spread like wildfire. Theuntjie Borns was a compulsive slanderer. She lied especially about Catharina Crooms.

According to her, Martin Reselaar gave Catharina a bottle of wine as a present. She drank the whole bottle. Three sheets to the wind, she jumped into bed with him.

To give the story more spark, Theuntjie adds that there was a ménage à trois when Pieter van Meerhof joined them. Mouths gaped about this falsified story.

Catharina reported her to the VOC administration's Council of Justice. However, a warning failed to silence Theuntjie.

No, she told the story that Wouter Mostert's wife Hester was not a virgin when they got married. Furthermore, Hester had given birth to two babies in the Netherlands. One she strangled and the other she threw away, according to Theuntjie.

The whole Cape was buzzing about it. However, Hester was a woman of standing because she was a successful pig farmer. She reported Theuntjie for malicious defamation.

The blabbermouth's punishment was to be tied to a pole on a balcony and for an hour she had to apologise to everyone she had slandered. After that she was sent to Dassen Island for six weeks.

One wonders what went through her mind as she served out her time in that forsaken and windswept place. That comes from lying and spinning stories.

***

Cruelty was common. Heterosexual prostitution was encouraged, but if homosexuals were caught in flagrante delicto, they were beaten until the blood spurted from their wounds. Then they were tied to the back of a boat and dragged into the deep sea to attract sharks.

Another punishment was for their hands and feet to be tied after which they were sealed in a bag and thrown alive into the sea at Table Bay.

That wasn't all of it. The other option was that they were tied to poles and set on fire. That would cleanse them of evil spirits.

***

Louis van Assenburg was governor of the Cape from 1708 to 1711. He loved entertaining and invited the public to parties where fireworks were set off. Drink was plentiful and only the best food was provided.

For entertainment there were puppet shows and bull and dog fights. The latter was stopped when the more sophisticated citizens could no longer bear to watch dogs tear up the bulls. Raw meat and blood lay scattered as the maimed bulls bellowed defencelessly.

Everyone had such a good time visiting old Van Assenburg that they didn't notice how the roads had deteriorated. In the winter these were just one big mess of mud with huge potholes. Drunk people sometimes fell into some of these holes in the dark of night and drowned.

***

There was also trouble with animals and livestock. Tryntjie Verwey slaughtered two cows that belonged to the Khoikhoi. Apparently because they came snooping in her kraal.

Karma caught up with her when her large herd of sheep was stolen by the angry Khoikhoi. They roasted some of the meat in front of the shepherd, licked their lips and ate deliciously. Who can say no to farm-fresh fat mutton on an open fire?

There were more trouble with animals. Wild dogs invaded the vineyards and ate grapes, so that young boys were appointed to drive them away. The wild dogs merely waited until it was dark before they returned to feast on the grapes.

A bunch of soldiers hung out at a bar one night. The trumpet player drank too much and fell asleep under a table. His friends throw cold water over him, but he remained lying down.

They dragged him outside so he could get some fresh air and went inside to continue drinking. The man woke up when he felt something bite him on the shoulder. The thing stank and began to pull him.

His shoulder was in the grip of a hyena's mouth. Fortunately, his trumpet was attached to his uniform. He blew on it as hard as he could. His friends ran outside, started beating the animal and thus saved their partner's life.

The Cape hyenas were not particularly picky eaters and were able to live on rubbish. This one must have thought a piece of fresh meat meant it was his lucky day. Hyenas were still plentiful in the area in the first half of the 1700s.

***

Hans Rutter was in a bar in Amsterdam when he met some friendly fellows. They laughed, joked and bought him drinks.

Little did he know they were part of an underground gang that worked for the VOC. It was their job to force civilians to work for the military.

They put drugs in his drinks. When Hans woke up again, he was on a boat on his way to the Cape. He learned his lesson and after that he was cured of all alcohol.

In his spare time he looked after a tame baboon. These two became well-known in the Cape as they strolled through the streets.

The baboon caused drama when he rang the bells at the Castle late one night. Soldiers jumped up with their guns to investigate.

When they got there, the baboon was sitting quietly next to the bells. The governor decided he should get 50 lashes with a cane.

But hey figured the baboon probably wouldn't survive, and Hans had to endure the beatings. This did not stop him from acquiring many other pets.

When he was discharged from the army, he and his animals moved to the quiet and lonely Attaquaskloof between Mossel Bay and Oudtshoorn where they all could make as much noise as they wanted.

***

Auctions were also occasions for indulgences. Livestock sales were regularly held on farms. These gatherings were followed by parties that lasted up to three days.

The farmer who held the auction had to see to it that the bidders were kept happy. There was plenty of food and an endless supply of alcohol. People drank the wine as if it were water.

There was dancing to the beat of violins until everyone was tired. The mornings were meant for the women, to do as much shopping as possible.

A portrait of Hendrik Cloete shows that he was enormously overweight, like many of the so-called nobility in the Cape. He is holding a deck of cards with a chubby cat on his lap. In his portrait, a slave is holding Cloete's pipe so that can play a game.

All this of course against the background of slaves who were humiliated, had to endure endless hardship and were treated inhumanely. Life was too good for those who had the right colour or status.

Today there are those who say that just 30 years after the first democratic election, previously disadvantaged residents should get over the past. Really?

• For the Kindle version of Wine, Women and Good Hope: A History of Scandalous Behaviour in the Cape (2015) look here.
• One of those oldest sailor kroeë in die land is Perseverance Tavern (1808).

• 'n Ander fuifplek van ouds is die Fireman's Arms (1864).

♦ VWB ♦

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