What’s with that flashlight?


What’s with that flashlight?

TINUS HORN'S former and future girlfriend, Little Cat Zee, better known as the rapper Li'l Katzi, has created a special tune for Youth Day.


NEWS ALERT! My former and future girlfriend, Little Cat Zee, is done with country music. In future, she will only use her tambourine for beach frisbee. She will now be known as the rapper Li'l Katzi.

She has created the tune below specifically for Youth Day and says I should bloody well pay attention to it. As if I'm 16 instead of 61. She is somewhat younger than me; after we met on Tinder, I had to subtract a few years from my children's ages. Otherwise, it would have been just weird.

She's just left in a hurry. Where to, she didn't say. Or when I can expect her back.

At her request, I transcribed her creation. I'm happy to share it here, even if you look in vain for any reference to Youth Day. Or youth in general. On the contrary.

Here goes:

Put a pup in that bakkie, keep the flashlight in the drawer
Country is for old folks, bro

mainly old dudes wearing jeans on their knees
'cos they scheme their boep hides all it should
but what about that plumber's crack 
striking fear in man and beast

striking fear, striking fear
striking fear in man and beast 

Spoiler alert, dude, your girl ain't coming back
She can no longer stand your man boobs and sour face
You really think your debt to the mechanic ain't a thing?
Let's just see if the bakkie's gearbox will fix itself today 

Fix itself, fix itself
The mechanic's not a thing

Look on the bright side, for an old baldy you look half alive
you say you'll miss her, well get yourself a new pup double quick time
At least it's a warm body and makes you less lonely
The body corporate's crimpy says “over my dead body"
I tune her, kwaai, let Avbob come and fetch you
Oh yeah, oh yeah, let Avbob come and fetch you

Your contribution to society 
Is a barrow full of green eye shadow and a tip truck full of sexual anxiety

Oh yeah, oh yeah,
let Avbob come and fetch her

Meantime, dude, I'll have to move 
If I wanna dance and vibe and binge in Long Street's dives tonight

Was all right to know you and whatevs
You just keep the toaster and the kettle and the flashlight in the drawer
All I'm taking is the uninterrupted power supply

Goodbye, goodbye, it's goodbye from me
To the kettle and the toaster and the flashlight in the drawer.

It's quite powerful on a screen, but you should really hear it when Li’l Katzi spits those lines. She immerses herself to such an extent that you can nearly imagine the reality unfolding right before your eyes. 

What I would really like to do now is to listen to a song on Spotify. The title escaped me, but it's about a guy sitting on his bed alone in his room, his heart full of longing for his girlfriend, his bakkie and his faithful old collie dog who is no longer with us. 

But now it's bloody load-shedding and something's wrong with the wifi. I wonder what it could be. This morning it was still fine. 

♦ VWB ♦

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